Wednesday, 24 August 2011

Bad Times

Currently really struggling with energy levels.

Headaches are being helped a little by the beta blockers and codeine. It's getting a bit silly trying to decide whether to have a headache or risk the codeine addiction though! Fingers crossed this will be a short term problem and the headaches will become much less common.

My main struggle now is energy and concentration levels. Both are currently rock bottom. I'm happy to hear suggestions to help with either. I won't guarantee I'll try it, or that I haven't already tried it, but I'd like to hear them anyway.

I'm struggling at work because of it. It's making me actually consider seriously whether full time work is right for me atm. Unfortunately, money-wise and self-esteem wise I don't think I have a choice, whether it's right or not. I know that even if it's affecting my physical health a little my mental health would be affected much more by the admission of inability.

It's always a case of balancing the scales and sometimes I just want to tip the scales over!

A blogger over at Purple Persuasion (http://purplepersuasion.wordpress.com/) did a great post I shared about "Ten things not to say to a depressed person", and, I just want to say a huge thank you to everybody, because 99% of the time, none of you say those things. Nor do you remind me how much worse it could be, how many friends you know with ME/CFS/Fibro who can't get out of bed etc. I think those stories are meant to make a person thankful, but in my case they just make me feel absolutely awful that I'm complaining and that you don't take me, or my suffering, seriously.

With my energy levels being so low, I've found I've been mentioning my CFS a lot around the office. It makes me feel bad. I'm never sure how much is the right amount of explanation and how much just looks like I'm trolling for sympathy. I mean, whilst I do want sympathy (after all, who doesn't?), that's not why I'm telling people.

This weekend is the bank holiday weekend. I'm glad of the extra day off. So, so glad.

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