Why?

It’s because of days like today that I started this blog.

I’ve been so tired for the last week or so, and that’s been causing my mood to plummet. The weather hasn’t helped. It’s so cold that I just want to hibernate.

I’ve fallen behind with my lesson plans and evaluations. My tutor’s coming in on Friday. I wasn’t worried about this. Now I am. He expects to see all of my documentation up to date. Which is just about doable. Maybe.

I’ve just had some pretty shitty lessons. Year 13s telling me that they’re not in the mood to work and that I’ve given them too much homework. Some of them who haven’t even done last weeks homework! They had 20 minutes at the end of the lesson. Nobody got past the second question. It was literally reading a number from a formula.

Year 9 was even worse. They wouldn’t listen or settle. I’m typing this us whilst waiting for them all to appear and repay me my 11 minutes of wasted time. I also collected their homework in and planned to mark it now. Only 7 of them had done it. Seven! The rest hadn’t even finished off the scattergraph I’d got them to start in class, a 5 minute task.

I’m wondering why I want to do this. There are so many other jobs I could have gone into. There must still be stuff I can do. I just can’t imagine doing anything other than this.

I hate feeling like this, because I know that when it goes well, I really enjoy teaching. It’s just, not going well. And that’s hard to deal with.

At the minute, I really want a cuddle and a sympathetic ear. I’ve got a long wait for either.