So I booked a doctors appointment today. I haven't been sectioned.
Yay! I have however been given a new drug to try; Prozac.
Now, I know that stereotypes are bad but in my mind, Prozac is the
crazy drug. I'm about 99% sure that I think that only because of the
media. After all, it's probably the most famous SSRI and the media
thinks that anybody on an SSRI is either batshit insane or a
malingerer. But even so, there's a little voice in my head that shouts
"see, told you that you're fucked up".
I guess this is one of those times that the CBT comes into play.
Telling the voice to STFU and doing what it takes to get better. Shame
the voice is so persistent.
My own prejudice makes me more determined than ever to try and fight
the myths about mental illness though. I really wish that I had the
energy to be able to volunteer for a charity like Mind or SANE. I see
Purple Persuasion's blog (worth a read if you don't already follow it)
and wish I could do half the things that she does. Or even write half
so eloquently on the important subjects I ignore whilst wallowing in
But, the CFS gets in the way. If I work full time, and actually want
to try keep a social life, I don't have the time to volunteer, or even
to write considered blog posts.
Speaking of the CFS my doctor claimed there was nothing could be done
for me. And I was so flustered from admitting to the SA that I just
smiled and nodded. I even forgot to ask for a new prescription of the
beta blockers. Guess I'll see in the next fortnight what effect
they've actually been having.
Speaking of the next fortnight, new medication means dealing with new
side effects, and low dosage means possible low moods. Apologies in
advance if this blog gets ignored, becomes very emo or just generally
becomes unreadable. Also apologies if you know me in RL for the same